So today I had like a half day of work and came home from Metro Park around 12:30, and hung out with Caitlin for a while.. got home at like 3pm, and fell asleep on my couch around 5:45pm... any time I sleep in the middle of the day I allllways accidentally fall asleep on my back and have nightmares, or just all out weird dreams. I fell asleep today during the thunderstorm.. so it already set the tone for what was to come. This is what I remember:
I was dancing with this guy in a living room of what was my house I believe. He was whisking me around the floor as if I were Ginger Rogers and he were Fred Astaire. Both smiling at each other, eyes gleaming with happiness. Something was wrong with me though.. my eyes felt really strange, so I started to rub them. I ran into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror to see if I had something in them, and when I looked at myself almost all my eye lashes were gone cause I rubbed my eyes so hard. I took a closer look at my eye lid, and it started to split horizontally open as if someone was slicing it like a bagel. I started screaming bloody murder and ran out of the bathroom and was rushed to a hospital. The hospital was merely just a small house with doctors walking around with blank stares. Almost seemingly gliding along the floor to where they were going. I was sitting there with Caitlin now, and Caitlin got up and started to run away. As she ran and I chased her she kept changing into all these different animals. When I finally caught her the last animal I remember her turning into was a female version of my old siamese cat, Lowell. I took her into my arms and started petting her and she started purring back at me. That's when I woke up...
the only part of this dream I found comforting was when Caitlin turned into my cat. If you understand me at all as a person, and knew Lowell at all when he was alive, you would understand just how much I loved that animal. At the risk of sounding like a 95 year old cat lady, he was like my child basically.. I loved him more than almost anything in this life.. other than my own mother. So, yeh.. I'd say that was the only good part of my dream. To me it meant my psyche was showing me how much I love Caitlin, she's my best friend.. and I love her like my own family.
but.. fucked up, no?
--Veronica--
.Veronica.'Speedwell'.
-A CHEMICAL REACTION-
1 comment:
This is what happens a lot when you fall asleep in the day, on your back. For some reason it causes unpleasant results. For me anyway. I used to get what they call sleep paralysi, only i got it mostly during the day, unlike most people. during this sleep paralysis, I would lose all ability to move and vocalize, while apparently awake, I also would lose the ability to open my eyes. the only way out was to try very, very, hard to speak. this got me out. its incredibly frightening. you cant even scream for help.
i think you probably analyzed your nightmare very well, it sounds like it has to do with connections and relationships.
when we are young, we tend to attach ourselves more readily and with much more intensity. As we age, this tends to wane. we become more articulate about who we want in our lives to that degree and it often becomes, in later years, our family and a small circle of really good friends. I think you are also unknowingly, a little scared about the future and what it holds,
thus the facial disfigure and the running to the hospital.
I hope this makes sense to you.
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