* chants to the cha-cha sound in her head*: "I got a new/old computer, ba-da-ba-ba-bah-baah bah!"

:)

you got me

for the first time in a really long time, I feel at home. It is a wonderful, and powerful thing. Generally I'm just on cloud nine..

-Veronica Ashley.

Fireworks and sparks when the fever starts in your eyes tonight

to do:

I need to have more fun...

My last day of Metro Park is this monday... and I don't start Lucky until the 20th. I have decided that I need to spend time with more people who I have not seen in a long time.. reconnect with happy individuals and get myself out of my house.

Anyone who wants to do anything this coming week... call me, or text me. Maybe even a book of the faces message. Let's go see the world and what it has to offer.


Other than that.. a list of things to do:

Finish packing my moms stuff and bring it to my house.
Clean my closet.. finally put my clothes away that have just been sitting in bags and boxes since I moved in.
Clean my car.
Go take pictures of that cememtary I drive by EVERY day.. I see this one statue on top of a grave site every day and every time I see it I think "I need to photograph that.. it's beautiful."

Go visit Block Island... anyone wanna come with?

I can't think anymore.

-V-

belladonna...

also known as : Deadly Nightshade.


remind me of why I buy herbal remedies in the first place?
I'll just take the Valerian to help me sleep tonight... I'm still doing research on Belladonna and need to be fully aware of what it is I am ingesting into my system. Curse my need for natural remedies.




...yes, squid pro-ro...

-Veronica.

life..

Just the beginning of another chapter... and making my own destiny.





It could be worse, I could be alone
I could be locked in here on my own
like a stone that certainly drops
and it never stops.

I could be lost or I could be saved
calling out from beneath the waves
beaten down by this ocean rain
never again, never again

screaming out from the crests of the waves

it could be worse, it's all sweet
it could be snapped from the jaws of defeat
like a light lit upon a beach
where your heart on your sleeve

oh, you want to stop before you begin
you want to sink when you know you could swim
you want to stop before you begin
never give in, never give in.

screaming out from the crests of the waves

nothing matters
except life and the love you make
nothing matters
except life and the love you make..



V.

weird dream..

So today I had like a half day of work and came home from Metro Park around 12:30, and hung out with Caitlin for a while.. got home at like 3pm, and fell asleep on my couch around 5:45pm... any time I sleep in the middle of the day I allllways accidentally fall asleep on my back and have nightmares, or just all out weird dreams. I fell asleep today during the thunderstorm.. so it already set the tone for what was to come. This is what I remember:

I was dancing with this guy in a living room of what was my house I believe. He was whisking me around the floor as if I were Ginger Rogers and he were Fred Astaire. Both smiling at each other, eyes gleaming with happiness. Something was wrong with me though.. my eyes felt really strange, so I started to rub them. I ran into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror to see if I had something in them, and when I looked at myself almost all my eye lashes were gone cause I rubbed my eyes so hard. I took a closer look at my eye lid, and it started to split horizontally open as if someone was slicing it like a bagel. I started screaming bloody murder and ran out of the bathroom and was rushed to a hospital. The hospital was merely just a small house with doctors walking around with blank stares. Almost seemingly gliding along the floor to where they were going. I was sitting there with Caitlin now, and Caitlin got up and started to run away. As she ran and I chased her she kept changing into all these different animals. When I finally caught her the last animal I remember her turning into was a female version of my old siamese cat, Lowell. I took her into my arms and started petting her and she started purring back at me. That's when I woke up...

the only part of this dream I found comforting was when Caitlin turned into my cat. If you understand me at all as a person, and knew Lowell at all when he was alive, you would understand just how much I loved that animal. At the risk of sounding like a 95 year old cat lady, he was like my child basically.. I loved him more than almost anything in this life.. other than my own mother. So, yeh.. I'd say that was the only good part of my dream. To me it meant my psyche was showing me how much I love Caitlin, she's my best friend.. and I love her like my own family.


but.. fucked up, no?

--Veronica--

waking up

Waking up for me is always a feat. Pulling myself out of my literal cocoon (because at night apparently I roll myself up in my 17 hundred blankets) is approached slowly and calmly. Walking to make a gigantic pot of some very strong coffee this morning I realized that I woke up with a song stuck in my head... the Cheers theme song! This is a frequent happening for me. One that I can remember really well is when my mom came to visit about 1 year ago:

I was sleeping at my house on the couch. It was like 11 or 12 in the afternoon and I went stumbling through my kitchen. Only to find my mother and her boy friend drinking their vanilla chi teas and looking at me very strangely, sarcastic smiles upon their faces. They were indeed smiling like this because of my appearance at that particular wonderful moment in time. I do assume that my hair was probably half in and half out of an elastic, my eyes just barely cracked open, one of them may have even been still closed. And a gentle loving grunt coming from my voice box as I walked by them and my mother said "good morning baby!" You have to understand, I am completely non verbal prior to having coffee in my system when I awake and do not want to have any interaction with the human variety or otherwise. I did in fact happen to open my mouth to speak a short phrase, "something is wrong with me." My mother turned from sarcastic face to serious face in a heart beat and asked, "what's wrong!?" I spoke again, "I woke up with 'you're a grand old flag stuck in my head'." Then passed them by without so much as a smirk. They both of course started hysterically laughing at me and my brains choice of music to have lodged in it lobes.

Now, for serious people.. what is wrong with me? HAHAHA. What on Earth do I possibly dream about that would have me waking up to singing these completely ridiculous tunes?!

..have a nice day. ^_^

Veronica Ashley.

rainy day.

It's gray and raining outside. And I love it. Day's like these are just relaxing. I noticed today when I first walked outside that if you smell the scent of the rain mixed with the cold crisp air.. it smells like April. I can't wait for spring time.. I've already decided I'm going to Block Island for my birthday weekend, which happens to be mothers day weekend too. Spend a little time with my grandmother and celebrate 'grand'mothers day and my 23rd birthday. UGH! I can't believe I'm gonna be 23. I feel so old. It feels like just yesterday I was 6 years old and my mother was telling me to stop growing up! But it's one thing in life you just can't win a fight with. ^_^

I decided I need to go to the Aquarium for my birthday as well.. haven't been there since I was a child! I hope the sea urchins are still there!

one more thing I can't wait for-- Lilacs! The old fashioned purple ones. They're my favorite and they bloom the week of my birthday. It's like my very own present from mother nature! haha

Veronica.

I will never be, I will never be you, no
I will always be, I will always be me, that I know
But oh, even though I'm happy being me
I want to get away from all this harsh reality, oh

Gimme a break, a little escape
I am so tired of being me
I wanna be free, I wanna be new and different
Anything I'm not

I love Lenka- download her shit. It's adorable and very catchy.

experimenting with human emotion.

So tonight I was working at Body Shop, and during my time there this evening I decided since it was not so busy in my store to stand at the lease line. I then began to wonder how contagious smiles really were.. so I set out to smile at everyone that walked by me. I came to find that if you flash someone a big fat smile (and look like you really mean it too!)then pretty much 97% of the time you'll get either an equally nice smile back, a smile to let you know they saw you , or just a plain old smirk. There happened to be the few individuals that did not smile at all, which I just find odd. It doesn't take a lot of effort to shoot someone a smile back. It so happens that if you're in a bad mood even, and you smile back at someone it'll heighten your spirits and put you in a somewhat better mood. Moral is:

Just keep smiling people. They're free, and they are contagious. Also, you never know who you could touch by just letting them know you noticed them, and greeted them in a friendly manner.

Veronica. ^_^

ps: this should make you laugh. I did.

http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/news/archive/12125/

luckiest lady in all the land.

First off-- WOW alliteration! check out those "L's" holler!

secondly and are you sitting down? Cause you should be for what I am about to tell you...


I, Veronica Ashley Samsel, beloved daughter of Kathy & Anthony, sister, cousin, grand daughter, and neice to all who would take more time than I have to list...

I am going...


to see...



Billy Joel & Elton John!!!!!

July 17th is waaaay too far away. People, this has been a long time coming. Since many many moons ago, when I was just a deeeeeet of a wee one, much smaller than even now-- I have waited for this most joyous moment in time. The glistening light, of two heavens (my heavens, my gods) coming together in one night of passion, glory, and all out pure entertainment! I was much too small (like 4 or 5 years old) to go to the Billy Joel & Elton John concert with my mom .. and now, now that I have blossomed into this creature you know today-- the time has come, for me.. to be-- Entertained! and speaking of entertained, I wish I could have seen this magical performance. Hahahaha, OHHHH Elty you kill me!




LOVE IT! CAN'T FUCKIN WAIT!

-Veronica-
PS-- In the video, Billy Joel does a Batman quote-- when the joker (Jack Nicholson) is frustrated by Batman (Michael Keaton) beating him once again-- the joker say's "Where does he get those wonderful toys?"-- how I respect and love that Billy Joel made a Batman reference-- however the perfectionist in me when it comes to pop culture quotes and references is overwhelmed by his misspoken phrase! UGH, still hilarious none the less!

the list

1. Do More things for ME.
A. Go to Block Island.
B. Take a very bubbly bubble bath.
C. Spend more time with the people I love.
D. Stop being so ADD all the time, and finish something I start.

2. Develop a time machine.
A. I'd really like to see those Dinosaurs.
B. It'd be like Jurassic Park!
C. Da da, da da, dah dah dah duh dah dah daaaah, dah dah dah dah, bup bup bup bup bahhh buuuh badda daaa dah dahhh! (*theme song to Jurassic Park*)

3. Clean My Car.
A. I know you all hate stepping on my shit.
B. I hate you all stepping on my shit.
C. It's really not that big of a deal... haha.

4. Be more selfish.
A. Stop letting everyone take from you.
B. Stop giving all of yourself to everyone.
C. Everything happens if you just let it be.

5. Just be. Relax, and enjoy.


I'll take this one..

I decided today...

I want to go to Prague.. I think a trip to Prague would be a swell idea. Specifically to see the art, architecture, and this:

http://www.myczechrepublic.com/prague/sightseeing/charles_bridge.html

It is I believe one of the oldest bridges standing.. that is incredible.

Also, I can't wait for Spring to actually arrive. I'll know it will be officially here when I see the first crocus blooming. I think I'll make a ring chain for a count down to my birthday... not that I expect it to be a particularly good birthday, however I'm bored and need to get my hands into some sort of art project. So I will need a lot of colorful construction paper. It will be as of now, 90 rings long.

then again... maybe I'll wait a month or so. Now what do I do?! Oh bother..

-Veronica.

ps: keep an eye out for these bad larrys.

Frost.

once again, I revert back to this beloved poem by Robert Frost. It's all I can think of right now.. life, and it's crossroads.

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

-- Robert Frost: Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.


Each time I read this poem, it seems to have a different meaning for the different places I get to in life-- but then again, one sound, moral ending.


Veronica. Ashley. ♥

Dear February...

please don't snow this month.. also, could you just like skip over Valentines Day? Yeh, I'd appreciate it.


it's just another day.

-V-

Cake.

Satan is my motor, hear my motor puuuurrrr.




bored. and thinking too much.


follow the yellow brick road..

feeling like...

I need a cocktail. Just one.. I RARELY ever drink, and I'm just feeling in the mood for one. Mojito, extra lime.. or a nice cold Corona.. and someone to share a few laughs and a good time with.

train of thought.

..ever notice how incredible the Atlantic Ocean is?


I am the voice inside your head... And I control you
I am the lover in your bed.... And I control you
I am the sex that you provide... And I control you
I am the hate you try to hide... And I control you
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down I use you up
Mr self destruct

Ms.Veronica Vaaaaughn.

je ne ce pais..

Je ne ce pais: translation.. "I don't know."

Basically I've been feeling just sort of cloudy in the head lately. I got a second job at Metro Park.. which is awesome. I have my work at body shop.. I have my best friend, and my health. There is just a lack.. a void .. something is wrong, and something is missing. I don't know what it is... I just hope it will all work itself out. I need to stop worrying about other people and focus on myself more. I spend too much time making sure everyone else is okay, that I forget that I'm not all of the time.

I've got some ideas brewing in my noggin about different places I want to take photographs.. starting with a really cool place at my house I haven't walked through in many years.. one of my green houses. The smallest green house has a concrete stairway that leads into the downstairs of my house.. it's kind of a creepy looking place and I can remember Zack and I playing with caterpillars on the stairs and just being kids. It's a place that has a significant meaning to me, and now that it's pretty much obliterated it has this raw quality to it that is very endearing.

I can't wait to get paid... so I can pay more of my car insurance bill so I don't have to get one this month for like $400... I'm thinking I should transfer my insurance to like Geico or Progressive or something, they're waaaaaay cheaper. What I thought when was going to turn out like a natural disaster when I got home from the trip.. which is that I had no money to pay for my car and I may have to get rid of it... it is all working itself out slowly, but surely. I just have to be really frugal with my money and how I spend it. All in all... everything will be alright.

Things happen in life that you really don't expect.. you just have to take everything for what it is and as it comes. Keep your head up, and just keep breathing.

-V-