Greetings from Ohio!

So-- we left at 2 a.m. on Saturday the 27th... and drove all night and all morning until around noon on saturday-- stayed at the Hampton Inn hotel in Dubbois, Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania was extremely beautiful.. we we definately driving through the Appalachia mountains-- all the leaves are already almost all changed color-- it was incredible and i was so happy to be able to see my fair share of fall foliage! People definately treat people from massachusettes like trash. haha.. everyone was gauking at us like we were aliens from another planet. It's okay though... cause I was looking at them the same way. Everything is waaaaay more slow paced out here. They talk slow, walk slow, and think slow. It is ridiculous. And coming from a person who is all over the place and has ADD and needs to pretty much always be go-go- going... it was slight torture. The beauty of the place brought me back to a centered sort of feeling.

So the next day (Sunday) we headed to Ohio to see Alexs family-- it took us a little over 2 hours.. seeing as how we were only like a little over 100 miles from the Ohio border. We stayed at his aunt and uncles house last night, and will most likely again tonight. As for tomorrow-- we'll be heading off to South Dakota to see the Bad Lands. It should take us roughly 24 hours to get there-- and we're doing 12 hours a day-- so in about 2 days we'll be there. I can't wait to take pictures-- cause I heard that it is quite an amazing and life altering sight. Color me enthused!

So today I've been just thinking about a lot of things.. situations and things left behind.. just been thinking a lot.. and I had a dream last night that left me feeling a little lost. I don't remember what it was about.. but i remember who was in it atleast.. heh. Though I'm happy i'm here, I feel like i've left a piece of me behind.. I guess that's just how the story goes.. nothing can ever be perfect. I know that this is good for me. I just hope that in the end it was all worth it.

time to go metriculate with actual people now.. I'll post more about the trip next time we have internet access... oh-- and if anyone attempts to text me or call-- and I don't get back right away, it's only because I don't have reception where I am. So send me a message on this, or facebook, or myspace. or email me at willow8643@hotmail.com.

I love you,
Veronica.

I love you.. more than you'll ever know.

I don't know what to say... how to say things that are on my mind. It's hard to open up to people when you know you're just going to be leaving them. I finally felt it last night. Something inside me broke last night.. I haven't cried like that in quite some time now. Everything that has been bottled up within the past few months-- came flowing out like molten lava. It was like a slow motion climax in a movie ... where you know this is how it has to be.. and you're pulling at your own heart strings just to make it one more step and say goodbye. But you know the movie ISN'T over yet. I don't want to say goodbye.. I never want to say goodbye. This place, these people.. the love and the happiness that is what I'm taking with me. No matter how far away I am from it or them... I'll always carry it with me. Close to my heart. I feel like I'm leaving my heart here. I know that this is something I need to do. Something for myself... and no one else. I need this, more than anyone could know. I'm scared and I feel alone. That's just something I need to feel, to be. Get on my path, my road. This is my great adventure- my conquest. I don't quite know what life has to hold for me out there.. but I'll find out. I'll figure it out. And when it's all said and done... I'll be a stronger person. I will have an accomplishment in my life that I can look back on and say, "I did that.. I was there. And I made it out ok."

To everyone and anyone who has ever touched my life--

You are and always will be in my mind and in my heart. I'll take our days together and think only the fondest of thoughts, and I won't be sad.. no, I'll be so happy -- because you brought that joy and spark into my life. You taught me how to laugh and love, and to give myself to the world. Be kind to each other. Be there for each other. Cause you know, I would d it for you. I love you all.

you know who you are...


truly yours with love and admiration,
Veronica Ashley.

"I can still feel you... even so far away."

so contagious..

Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected
And I can tell you I've been moving in so slow
Don't let it throw you off too far
Cause I'll be running right behind you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you with first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..
To take a hold of you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching
On account of my transgression..
Will you welcome this confession?

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously...

-The Acceptance: So Contagious.

what can I say... I'm addicted to music, and these lyrics hit me where it counts. It's time to go pack more...

and listen to this song.. over and over again.

adieu,
Veronique.

The ocean..

September 22. 2008-- 3:30am.

I fell asleep on the couch, on my back. I should have known better. I always have nightmares when I sleep on my back. But this wasn't a complete nightmare, this was mostly a beautiful dream... until the very end. This dream was unreal. It was the most beautiful bittersweet moment I have ever witnessed. It seemed so real. I swear I could feel the ocean breeze, the warmth of the sun on my face, and the man I was with.. my love.

I was on a ship the size of a cruise ship. It was a gorgeous structure that was an opalescent white. It gleamed so brightly against the bright cobalt blue ocean. We were shipping off out of some harbor - maybe out of England, or China. I could see the coast line off in the distance. A perfect little city by the ocean, littered with seagulls. We sailed away to the middle of the ocean. So peacefully. So perfectly..

The sky was the brightest blue I have ever seen. With patches of perfectly puffy white clouds, scattered across the open sky until the horizon swallowed them. I was with him. The perfect man.. I remember sitting down on the top deck of the ship with him. Peering of toward the open water, I saw the most angelic sight. Something so beautiful that it seemed to go by almost as if it was in slow motion. A swarm of Cranes- hundreds of them. These beautiful gray/blue birds gliding through the breeze- so close to the water. The reflections of their bellies on the crests of small waves. I leaned back into him.. and he wrapped him arms around me. It was then in that moment that I felt the most peaceful feeling I've ever felt. This quiet hum of gliding birds, a soft ocean breeze, his arms lovingly wrapped around me. It was like everything in the world stopped for us... and freeze framed this one amazing moment in time where everything was so perfect and nothing else mattered but what was right there. He put his chin on my head and I said gently: "You know what I love most about this?"... He went to answer, "What?", and I saw the world collapsing. The moment was gone. Stripped away, and I could feel the panic rising up with every breath. Out across the ocean... it was like tectonic plates were shifting on the sea floor. There was a circular pattern, like after you throw a rock into a lake. The ship sailed over the wave into the center of this crater like circle. Then just as the ship was coming up over the other side - we cap sized. I felt my body and his tumble toward the ocean. And he was still holding onto me. Tightly..

That's when I woke up. So angry, but so pleased that I got to experience that one beautifully simplistic moment. That freeze frame... a once in a lifetime occurrence. Incredibly bittersweet.


fall around me now,
like stars that shine and brighten the way.
i need you here tonight just like this night it needs the rain.
the season has changed.
the wind, it blows colder now, colder now.
the clouds are raised,
the rain it falls harder now, all around.

you come over unannounced.
silence broken by your voice in the dark.
i need you here tonight,
just like the ocean needs the waves.

.Veronica Ashley.

Friday! Friday! Fridayyyy!

The events of today:

I awoke around 12:30 pm ... and did not want to get up. I was snuggled up in my bed. Pj's and a sweat shirt on. Cocooned in two big fluffy comforters. Wishing I could just fall back asleep. Onward went the day..

Maxin' and relaxin on the couch watching the good ol' telly-vizIon. Finally, and reluctantly went to my house to clean more of my room and pack more. Hated every moment, aside from Brittanie and I having a circa 1999 dance party in my room to old mixes I had made. BONNNNG!

Cut to Party time. Beer diver.. lots of people duct taping their beers together to form wizard wand towers o' fun. Ha-ha-larious. Lots of pictures, fun and laughs. The I got duct taped. Held down and my knees were duct taped together saran wraped around my chest and my feet duct taped together. The my friends proceeded to put a helmet on me and take pictures... all the while I'm laughing and screaming all at the same time. All in good fun until they stood me up and I freaked out cause the feeling of being imobile and someone else holding you up is slightly terrifying. Haha. So I almost cried and then the took it off cause I pleaded for my life. HAHAHA.

My friend got his lip ring pulled out in a little fun scuffle and then lost the ring down the sink... so we had to take his nipple ring out to replace the lip ring.. and then I fashioned him a new nipple ring out of a paper clip... closing that bitch off was not fun for me or him. It looked like it hurt a lot. OUCH CHAAARLIEEE!

Now-- it's off to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Going to see my dad tomorrow.. that should be ... well... it'll be.

-Veronica Ashley. ^_^

This song made me so incredibly happy last night when I heard it..

Baby, when I think about you
I think about love
Darlin, dont live without you
And your love
If I had those golden dreams
Of my yesterdays
I would wrap you in the heaven
till Im dyin on the way

Feel like makin
Feel like makin love
Feel like makin love to you

Baby, if I think about you
I think about love
Darlin if I live without you
I live without love
If I had the sun and moon
I would give you both night and day
Of satisfy'n

Feel like makin
Feel like makinlove
Feel like makin love to you

And if I had those golden dreams
Of my yesterdays
I would wrap you in the heaven
til Im dyin on the way

Feel like makin love
Feel like makin love
Feel like makin love to you

Bad Company-feel like making love to you


I think I laughed, cried, and smiled all at the same time. This is one of my favorite songs...

-Veronica Vaughn

singing to myself..

Its happening all the time
When I open my eyes
I'm still taken by surprise
I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies
And it makes me want to cry

I love you

I shall never grow up
Make believe is much to fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow

We were walking there
I had tangles in my hair
But you make me feel so pretty
You have shinning eyes
Yes like those forest lights
And it makes me want to cry

I was just wishing you were here
So we could walk down with to me
And we could throw all our leaves in
Seeing our dragon when we look

I love you

I shall never grow up
Make believe is much to fun
Can we go far away to the humming

I shall never grow up
Make believe is much to fun
This place is so lovely
It kind of makes me very happy
Lets go far away to the humming meadow

To the humming meadow

To the humming meadow...

:Eisley:
:Brightly Wound:

N 64 games

HOLY crap today is a good day. I found Diddy Kong Racing on ebay for $14 WITH FREE SHIPPING! Yeh thats right,I'm a geek.. what of it! So if I order it today I should have it within the week! CHYEAAAAH BUUUDY! So pumped. Also-- the new Eisley album, incredible. I must make that purchase..


On the note of last night:

The thing that hurts most is when friends hurt friends. Drinking and trying to understand someone who is and has been one of your best friends for years is not easy. I feel incredibly useless in the fact that I can do nothing to help them. I don't want it to happen this way. Just before we're about to move away for a little while, people feel neglected and left behind. Emotions and tempers start to flare up. And that's when all hell breaks loose and things like hearts get broken. I don't like it. And all I want to do is fix it... cause that's just in my nature. I want to help anyone I care about, in anyway I possibly can. Because I love.. deeply. If you're in my life, you're a part of me. And always will be... just so you know.

I don't think I've made any sense... any way-- Diddy Kong Racing= BOMB KED.

-V monstaaah.

cleaning

So I'm taking a short break from cleaning... a.k.a-- procrastinating. Who's better than me at procrastinating?! I've been going through my bed room cleaning getting rid of old clothes I don't need and don't even come close to fitting me anymore. Man am I a pack rat. I hate and love that about myself... I hate it because my life gets too cluttered. I love it because I'll find something from years ago that I haven't even thought of in the longest time and it will bring me back to that moment in time, that second of bliss, or pain or that gray area in between. I found an old journal today, with letters and poems. It made me laugh. All the miserable and wonderful things that came out of high school.. ugh. None the less, it made me who I am today, and will power me to be who I want to be in the future.

It's so sad to have to throw away stuff from my child hood. Moving, I've discovered, is a pain in my ass. I have to pack up this crap any how. It just hurts to see things go. My life has changed so much within the past 2 years.. the most change I've ever faced has happened and is happening. I fear change. Yet, I know that change is the only constant in life. I'll deal. I'm strong and passionate and I'll make the most of each situation and hurdle that life has to throw at me. Not because I have to either... but because I want to.

Man I'm a rambler. So it's off to cleaning some more, and rocking out to Van Morrison. It IS "a marvelous night for a moon dance." Hahaha. If you get that, then I appreciate it.

-V.S.-

So.. this is my blog. I'm making a cross country trip and I need a place to write down my thoughts. When you're going to be basically homeless for a month there are bound to be events in life that trigger certain thought processes and those thoughts should be recorded.. if not for you, then for my own piece of mind. This is a little piece of me... so, welcome.


Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

-Robert Frost: Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.