I fell asleep on the couch, on my back. I should have known better. I always have nightmares when I sleep on my back. But this wasn't a complete nightmare, this was mostly a beautiful dream... until the very end. This dream was unreal. It was the most beautiful bittersweet moment I have ever witnessed. It seemed so real. I swear I could feel the ocean breeze, the warmth of the sun on my face, and the man I was with.. my love.
I was on a ship the size of a cruise ship. It was a gorgeous structure that was an opalescent white. It gleamed so brightly against the bright cobalt blue ocean. We were shipping off out of some harbor - maybe out of England, or China. I could see the coast line off in the distance. A perfect little city by the ocean, littered with seagulls. We sailed away to the middle of the ocean. So peacefully. So perfectly..
The sky was the brightest blue I have ever seen. With patches of perfectly puffy white clouds, scattered across the open sky until the horizon swallowed them. I was with him. The perfect man.. I remember sitting down on the top deck of the ship with him. Peering of toward the open water, I saw the most angelic sight. Something so beautiful that it seemed to go by almost as if it was in slow motion. A swarm of Cranes- hundreds of them. These beautiful gray/blue birds gliding through the breeze- so close to the water. The reflections of their bellies on the crests of small waves. I leaned back into him.. and he wrapped him arms around me. It was then in that moment that I felt the most peaceful feeling I've ever felt. This quiet hum of gliding birds, a soft ocean breeze, his arms lovingly wrapped around me. It was like everything in the world stopped for us... and freeze framed this one amazing moment in time where everything was so perfect and nothing else mattered but what was right there. He put his chin on my head and I said gently: "You know what I love most about this?"... He went to answer, "What?", and I saw the world collapsing. The moment was gone. Stripped away, and I could feel the panic rising up with every breath. Out across the ocean... it was like tectonic plates were shifting on the sea floor. There was a circular pattern, like after you throw a rock into a lake. The ship sailed over the wave into the center of this crater like circle. Then just as the ship was coming up over the other side - we cap sized. I felt my body and his tumble toward the ocean. And he was still holding onto me. Tightly..
That's when I woke up. So angry, but so pleased that I got to experience that one beautifully simplistic moment. That freeze frame... a once in a lifetime occurrence. Incredibly bittersweet.
like stars that shine and brighten the way.
i need you here tonight just like this night it needs the rain.
the season has changed.
the wind, it blows colder now, colder now.
the clouds are raised,
the rain it falls harder now, all around.
you come over unannounced.
silence broken by your voice in the dark.
i need you here tonight,
just like the ocean needs the waves.
.Veronica Ashley.
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